Amy: Where am I?
Doctor: What? But - What?! You…you can’t just go around appearing out of thin air. Or thick air. Or medium-density air. Any kind of air!
Amy: Who are -
Doctor: Wellllllll, maybe if you had a cloak of invisibility and then you took it off, but those won’t be invented on Earth until the 82nd century. Oh, wait - tell me, in this Universe, have invisibility cloaks already been invented? Ah, that’s brillian -
Amy: I said, “Who are you?” And where on Earth am I?
Doctor: Yup, Earth. Nevada, to be exact. And the Doctor. Err, reverse that answer order.
Amy: Did you say the Doctor? The Doctor?
Doctor: Yup-p. That’s me. ‘Ello!
Amy: Very funny. What are we, playing some alien teleportation-y hide-and-go-seek, without my knowledge? Where is he?
Doctor: Where’s who?
Amy: The Doctor.
Doctor: I just told you. Nevada, United States. Just outside Las Vegas. Or well - I believe they call it Las Gaygas here. Not sure why. Maybe something to do with the real Sherlock Holmes and John Watson and a case they solved here.
Amy: Are you mad?
Doctor: Mad?! Me? On a beautiful, sunny day like this? Nah, I’m quite happy. You?
Amy: Oh, I’m mad all right. And with the way you talk, you’ve clearly met the Doctor. So tell me: where is he? I’m not in the mood for another one of his games. Not since Twister turned radioactive last week…
Doctor: Ah, I see what happened. You know the Doctor?
Amy: Yes. Wow, you listen well.
Doctor: Thanks! I’ve got pretty good ears. Not nearly as big as my last go around, but - ooh, that was sarcasm, wasn’t it? Wow, the Doctor traveling with a sarcastic ginger. Original.
Amy: Was that sarcasm?
Doctor: Yeah, sorry. Bit rude, me. Even without the ginger.
Amy: How do you know him?
Doctor: Who, the Doctor? Wellllll, I don’t. Not yours anyway. Not that he’s “yours” per say. You don’t own him. Not like he’s a pet. Oh tell me he’s not a pet, now is he? I’ve never quite believed it, but there’s ancient tales of a Time Lord turned potbelly pig. Ahem - anywayyy, I know, knew, I’m currently knowing, ectera the Doctor because I am is.
Amy: …You are him?
Doctor: Was. Is. Grew out of his once-was-his-hand. Uhh, tenses aren’t all the important. The point is: if anyone can find a way to get you back to him and your Universe, it’s me.
Amy: I’m meant to believe that?
Doctor: Yup. You clearly believe in a lot of things, Miss -
Amy: Amy. Amy Pond.
Doctor: Nice to meet you, Amy, Amy Pond. Oh - Pond! Suddenly, I’m thirsty. Anywho, the Doctor doesn’t travel with harsh skeptics. Now -
Amy: Let me guess - “Come along, Pond?”
Doctor: What?! No. Ew, is that what he’s saying now? Bit…cheesy. Even for him. No, no, I for one prefer something tamer. Calmer. More refined. ALLONS-Y, AMY!