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Doctor Who rewritten - After saving Madge and her family, the Eleventh Doctor pops over to just a few months earlier and a few neighborhoods away to visit a fantastic man Eleven: ‘Ello! I’m -Nine: Who the hell are you?Eleven: Young and rude? Wowzer. As I was saying, I’m the caretaker. Now don’t ask me “Caretaker who?”. Just the Caretaker.Nine: Ah, wrong house then. You don’t look like an orphan girl. Sorry. But first, tell me. Uh, might seem like a stupid question, but then again I’m pretty stupid, me. Have you noticed an object that fell from the sky recently?Eleven: You mean besides all the big loud explode-y things from the air raid? No…not recently. And you are most certainly not at the wrong house. Have you seen this house? It’s gorgeous! And I should know, I live in a quite an extraordinary place myself. Come on in, Doctor. I’ll cook you up a nice Christmas Eve dinner. Let me guess: just a banana will do?Nine: Nah, not really hungry. I’ve got a good stomach. And I better get back to - wait, how’d you know my name?Eleven: Ah. That. Yes. Uh, see I’m a student. Earning my doctorate in History, and you’re all over the books. You and Rose Tyler? You’re the stuff of legend! It’s an honor to meet you, really.Nine: Thanks? I would say the same to you, but I’d rather not lie.Eleven: ‘Course not. No, you don’t seem like a liar. Not at all. Tell you what though: just come in to use the phone. Perhaps somehow it’ll help you locate Captain Ja -  uh, that big sky-falling-y thinga-majig you mentioned.Nine: Oh, alright. Just for a sec then, thanks.Eleven: No problem! May I take your coat? That’s quite magnificent leather there. Leather is cool. I’d wear some myself, but it really doesn’t suit this face. Best left with my young, “Watch out Universe, I’m a tough guy!” phase.

Doctor Who rewritten - After saving Madge and her family, the Eleventh Doctor pops over to just a few months earlier and a few neighborhoods away to visit a fantastic man

Eleven: ‘Ello! I’m -
Nine: Who the hell are you?
Eleven: Young and rude? Wowzer. As I was saying, I’m the caretaker. Now don’t ask me “Caretaker who?”. Just the Caretaker.
Nine: Ah, wrong house then. You don’t look like an orphan girl. Sorry. But first, tell me. Uh, might seem like a stupid question, but then again I’m pretty stupid, me. Have you noticed an object that fell from the sky recently?
Eleven: You mean besides all the big loud explode-y things from the air raid? No…not recently. And you are most certainly not at the wrong house. Have you seen this house? It’s gorgeous! And I should know, I live in a quite an extraordinary place myself. Come on in, Doctor. I’ll cook you up a nice Christmas Eve dinner. Let me guess: just a banana will do?
Nine: Nah, not really hungry. I’ve got a good stomach. And I better get back to - wait, how’d you know my name?
Eleven: Ah. That. Yes. Uh, see I’m a student. Earning my doctorate in History, and you’re all over the books. You and Rose Tyler? You’re the stuff of legend! It’s an honor to meet you, really.
Nine: Thanks? I would say the same to you, but I’d rather not lie.
Eleven: ‘Course not. No, you don’t seem like a liar. Not at all. Tell you what though: just come in to use the phone. Perhaps somehow it’ll help you locate Captain Ja -  uh, that big sky-falling-y thinga-majig you mentioned.
Nine: Oh, alright. Just for a sec then, thanks.
Eleven: No problem! May I take your coat? That’s quite magnificent leather there. Leather is cool. I’d wear some myself, but it really doesn’t suit this face. Best left with my young, “Watch out Universe, I’m a tough guy!” phase.